Sucky movie Sunday...
The Covenant
The Covenant is an epic tale of a handful of high schoolers with magical powers that allow them to imitate their favorite characters on Dragonball Z. The downside is that with these powers, you age must faster. This probably explains why these 17 and 18 year olds look like 30.
These powers also have other amazing abilitites as well! You can shower and sleep with makeup on, switch in and out of t-shirts with scene changes, have complete lack of body hair, survive being thrown threw glass, and have incredible six packs! Also for some odd reason noone notices when the main character repairs their windshield RIGHT IN PUBLIC or major fights that involve kids being thrown into dorm walls or stuff like that. Apperantly they all have selective hearing or something.
All these kids live in a strict boarding where kids are free to run around all night, pick fights in school, and go to bars even though being underaged. Best of all, apperantly there has been some major genocide in this area since everyone is naturally dark haired. No blondies or redheads in this one! And the only minority is the not-so black chick who almost dies! No Korean love though :(
Everything is ruined when some random douche decides to take the main sexy guys powers. Why? Because he's power hungry and evil. He apperantly has other issues since he is unable to talk without sounding like that one high guy I met on the subway. Poor guy.
Strength:
The acting and writing is incredible. At the end of the movie you really feel for rich-pretty guy's inner anger against his parents for buying him a silver convertable instead of a red one...
Ok I lied. There is nothing good about this movie. Now go away and stop reading my bad attempt to be funny.
Weakness:
Noone dies. WTF!?!?!!11 >:o
These powers also have other amazing abilitites as well! You can shower and sleep with makeup on, switch in and out of t-shirts with scene changes, have complete lack of body hair, survive being thrown threw glass, and have incredible six packs! Also for some odd reason noone notices when the main character repairs their windshield RIGHT IN PUBLIC or major fights that involve kids being thrown into dorm walls or stuff like that. Apperantly they all have selective hearing or something.
All these kids live in a strict boarding where kids are free to run around all night, pick fights in school, and go to bars even though being underaged. Best of all, apperantly there has been some major genocide in this area since everyone is naturally dark haired. No blondies or redheads in this one! And the only minority is the not-so black chick who almost dies! No Korean love though :(
Everything is ruined when some random douche decides to take the main sexy guys powers. Why? Because he's power hungry and evil. He apperantly has other issues since he is unable to talk without sounding like that one high guy I met on the subway. Poor guy.
Strength:
The acting and writing is incredible. At the end of the movie you really feel for rich-pretty guy's inner anger against his parents for buying him a silver convertable instead of a red one...
Ok I lied. There is nothing good about this movie. Now go away and stop reading my bad attempt to be funny.
Weakness:
Noone dies. WTF!?!?!!11 >:o
The Wicker Man (2006)
This movie is so bad, I don't even want to review it. All I say is this; after you watch it you'll be confused for 30 minutes. After that you'll quickly figure out what actually was happening and then cry because the plot was dumber then you actually thought and lose all faith in God. Yeah its that bad. It turned me into a Evangelical Christian into a god-hating Athiest. THANK YOU NEIL LEBUTE FOR SENDING ME TO HELL!
Strength:
Nicolas Cage dies *WARNING SPOILERS: YOU JUST READ A SPOILER*
Weakness:
Who the hell wrote this shit? The actors in this movie are actually pretty good, but they come off as complete druggies because of the script. Kate Beahan couldn't even speak one whole line without trailing off or sound like she is about to cry. I'm surprised Nicolas Cage didn't burst out laughing after the 523423rd time his character claimed he was a cop and threatend to use legal force in a area that is out of his JURISDICTION. And there are the 500 flashbacks to some random girl being ran over that ends up serving no purpose other then pissing me off. Or the fact that the entire premise of the movie is just balony. Or the fact that there is no cleavage :(
Strength:
Nicolas Cage dies *WARNING SPOILERS: YOU JUST READ A SPOILER*
Weakness:
Who the hell wrote this shit? The actors in this movie are actually pretty good, but they come off as complete druggies because of the script. Kate Beahan couldn't even speak one whole line without trailing off or sound like she is about to cry. I'm surprised Nicolas Cage didn't burst out laughing after the 523423rd time his character claimed he was a cop and threatend to use legal force in a area that is out of his JURISDICTION. And there are the 500 flashbacks to some random girl being ran over that ends up serving no purpose other then pissing me off. Or the fact that the entire premise of the movie is just balony. Or the fact that there is no cleavage :(
posted by Adam @ 8:29 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
lol- you are amusing, and I bet there is cleavage. It's just in the wide screen edition. You should go watch it and tell me if it's true. ;)
Hehehe, I loved your covenant review. Give some more! :D
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